Motherhood, Comforting Those In Need

It was a bright winter day when my husband and I with our three-year-old ventured out on a walk for some exercise.  We stopped off at a park close to our home.  As my husband helped our son onto the swing, I noticed a car pulling up in the parking lot.  A few minutes later a young couple got out with a toddler. As they made their way through the park, the husband sat down on a bench at one end of the park holding the toddler and the mother sat on a different bench alone.  I could tell by their countenances that a terrible tragedy had happened.  Something told me to go sit by the young woman and I followed that prompting quickly.

I introduced myself to the lady and asked if there was anything I could do for her.  She wept and began to tell me about their nine-month-old daughter.  Yesterday for the entire day the daughter had been crying unconsolably.  There was no way to calm or soothe their child and they had been up all day and night tending to her needs.  Finally in the early morning hours they decided to take her to the hospital.  On the way the little girl stopped crying and it seemed to them as if she had fallen asleep from exhaustion. Upon arriving at the hospital they found that, instead of sleeping, she had passed away.  The parents were in shock and devastated.  How could this be?  The doctors discovered that the little girl had a tumor that had burst and this caused her unexpected and sudden death. 

As I sat by this beautiful young mother, I put my arms around her and we cried together.  I tried to comfort her the best I could and after a time she and her husband and toddler left the park.  A few months later I received a beautiful card left on my front porch thanking me for being her angel that day and being at the park for her during those very difficult hours.  Over the years I have learned that God will use mothers to help not only their own children, but also others around them. If we will listen and put our lives in harmony with Him, He will put us where we need to be as his angels on earth.  

Contributed by  Julie from California

Thoughts on Motherhood

European Economic & Social Committee

European Economic & Social Committee

American Mothers recently participated in a meeting at the European Economic & Social Committee in Brussels, Belgium sponsored by Make Mothers Matter (MMM), a French organization with a similar purpose as ours - to support mothers!

A member of the EU Parliament who addressed us at the General Meetings in Brussels said that the word "family" cannot be used at the EU any more in official discussions. 'Intergenerational solidarity' is the word that replaces the word family. The current ideology is suggesting that government has a better way to raise our children out of their status quo and give them opportunity than we do.

But I would ask, why is the idea of family taboo?

As American Mothers, we must fight for our roles and defend the notion that children can and will lift themselves out of bad parental units and succeed.

Incidentally, the first country in the European Union to insist upon this way of thinking, ('intergenerational solidarity) was Germany. And, each year, Germany's population has been on the decline.  Hungary has followed close behind, and they too have seen a decrease in population. Surely, there is a connection between the two.  

This fight to recognize mothers and families needs to be recompensed every day.   The role that mothers play and the vision they have for society is more important now than ever.

As American Mothers, we have an important role to play in the future of societies at home and abroad.  To stand for the ability to be a mother and raise our children as we see fit is being threatened across the globe.  Let our future focus as an organization be on the best practices of motherhood that support healthy children because our future depends on it!

God Bless America!

Dianne Callister
1st Vice President, UN representative

American mothers will collaborate with organizations representing Mothers in the
UK, France, Belgium, Sweden, Zambia, Colombia, Republic of Southern Korea, Democratic Republic of Congo and Lebanon.

American Mothers is proud to be furthering the work and value of mothers, sharing best practices and creating greater understanding of the international needs of mothers and their children.

California's Dianne Callister is attending this Summit on behave of the National American Mothers Inc. We are proud of you Dianne.

Francis Eleanor Smith National Mother of the Year 1936

The Francis Eleanor Smith - 

National American Mother of the Year 1936

Francis Eleanor Smith, mother of six children, was named the 2nd National Mother of the Year in 1936. Born in Warrenton, Virginia, Francis moved at an early age to California where she attended school, married and raised her family. She is best remembered today for what her selection created.   When chosen as Mother of the Year her friends and neighbors were so elated that they raised funds to start a rehabilitation center for crippled children in her honor. 

In 1938 at Chino, California, Casa Colina (She refused to let them name the center for her) opened its doors. Since then thousands of children have left the center able to care for themselves. Francis herself worked full time at the Center without salary until her death in 1952.  Casa Colina is a center, not a hospital. Francis always insisted on a home-like atmosphere.  Nurses do not wear caps; work is carried on today just as she wanted, giving hope and a chance to many “hopeless” children.

Her husband, James, owned a small orange grove and Francis helped where she could, especially with the bookkeeping and gardening for the family. Life had not been easy but Francis was a women of unusual courage.  Not only were all her children born at home, she even had a spinal operation there with local anesthesia.  She won a bout with tuberculosis after nearly six years of invalidism. Perhaps her own difficulties made it easy for her to sympathize with others.  “Wherever anyone is in trouble Mrs. Smith is sure to be found as a friend and helper,” said her pastor. When receiving her American Mother award in New York she disappeared for several hours which terrified her son, Blackwell, who had accompanied her.  She was visiting a slum district to see if the terrible conditions she had read about for underprivileged children were true.  On her return to California there were numerous speaking engagements and receptions. She enjoyed her carefully manicured nails and hands after what she called “46 days of luxury.”  But shortly after her return, her garden and husband’s grove broke her nails and her hands became rugged.  She started to bemoan their appearance but caught herself. “Look here, Mrs. Smith, the greatest honor in the world came to you when you had broken fingernails and what are a few broken nails compared to motherhood!”

Francis had a cheerful, light-hearted side, too.  She loved parties, especially outdoor meals. “Life begins at 53,” she insisted. Events in her yard were enhanced by her beautiful flower garden. She counseled and taught puppetry for the Girl Scouts and was nicknamed “Snow Goose” for being so fun-loving.  Francis Smith’s last words show her great enthusiasm for life... “I can’t go now.  There is so much to be done.” Yes, Francis Smith, there is much for us all to do, just keeping up with what you started, helping the helpless children!  

In honor of her exemplary life California American Mothers is pleased to announce the Francis Eleanor Smith Award to be presented annually to a mother who demonstrates charitable and loving characteristics similar to Francis Eleanor Smith.

Delivering Baby Blankets

After months of work and many volunteers here are some of us delivering 50 blankets and baby kits to a local organization that educates unwed mothers. What a great service they do to teach these young girls about the changes that will happen once they become mothers. It is our pleasure as American Mothers Inc. to help this organization.

Guilt Friend or Foe?

Abraham Lincoln once philosophized: “Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?” I’ve heard it said that you need to know and meet your enemy head on. One such enemy is guilt which can easily become your best friend. With a proper attitude adjustment and discernment we can take Lincoln’s advice and “make the enemy a friend.”

I’ve had conversations with two mothers this past month on totally unrelated subjects but both expressed feelings of guilt about their respective situations. One mother expressed her concern as she looked upon her beautiful sleeping children at the end of a long hard day and felt badly that she yelled at them for minor wrongs. She expressed feelings of wanting to escape as soon as her husband walked in the door. She longed for the days when she had more time to herself. Those feelings caused her to think that she wasn’t a good mother and asked me what to do to eliminate the feelings of inadequacies and guilt.

Guilt is a positive evaluator in this scenario because it evokes self-evaluation. Do I get angry because I am out of sorts or was there really a need for anger? This emotion helps you to see yourself and evaluate where you need to improve. It prompts the question, if you will let it, “What you can do to improve the situation?” Feelings of guilt are good if they lead you to improve.

I remember being in her shoes when my personal self-evaluation took place. I started going to bed earlier and getting up earlier, which allowed me to prepare for the day by reading the scriptures and personal grooming before the children awakened. I learned that being prepared spiritually and physically got me through their tantrums and disobedience in a calm and loving manner. Guilt can become the positive force behind changes in our own behavior.

Another conversation arose when discussing the dilemma of working outside the home while trying to raise a family. This puts added pressure and stress on the family unit, but if circumstances dictate it, I know that with the right balance the family can be successful. Guilt comes as the counsel enters our minds that mothers need to be at home to raise their children and to this I wholeheartedly agree. There is a time and season for everything. But guilt will do us no good in this case. The question to ask yourself is, “Are you working outside the home to get away from what is inside the home?” On the other hand sometimes there are circumstances that require mothers to work outside the home. Feelings of guilt may lead to bitterness and those feelings of bitterness will filter down into your family and that will affect your children’s behavior more than having a job outside your home. How we handle our feelings and priorities is what makes the difference.

At no other time in history have women been so free to have their influence felt in the community as now. Basic survival was a daily routine in early history that encompassed every waking hour. Today life allows more discretionary use of time. If your circumstances are such that you work outside the home then use it for the benefit of good. I have thought that it is no coincidence that we women have been sent here in this time in history when our influence could be out in the world for everyone to see and from which others could benefit. How many lives can you touch and how many people will glean from your example as a righteous woman and mother? We women need to set an example to the world of what motherhood is and how fulfilling it can be.

Instead of feeling guilt, prioritize your values, keeping home first and foremost. Let guilt become your friend by using these feelings to focus on changing your own characteristics you need to work on. Your children will benefit from taking more responsibility. Take guilt and make it your friend. Guilt is not always a negative emotion. Let it guide you, not paralyze you.

Contributed by Bev from California

Deseret News Article.... Utah, Renee Starr