Families First

In going through some of the California American Mothers boxes I found this Report!

It is very interesting to see that the issues talked about in 1993 are still on the decline 

and still the issues of today...

We must do all we can to stand for strong families.

Thoughts on Motherhood

So True... Our world needs more good fathers!

"For I Was An Hungered..."

And ye gave me meat: I was a stranger and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me…And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”  Matt. 25:35-40

Grandma, I love you!  Honestly, I don’t know who I would have become and where I would be if it were not for you. You are a perfect example of this scripture. What a blessing you have been to me.  Your amazing strength and compassion has literally saved my life.

People laugh when they see my baby blanket.  I giggle when I show them my 34-year-old treasure that now looks like a tiny rat’s nest of strings. But the story behind the smile isn’t really funny. I don’t know how many days and nights I spent out in the cold; I know that I was hungry; and I know that I was a precious little girl living in a drug infested world filled with physical, mental and emotional abuse. Thank heaven for my blanket and thank heaven for my grandmother.

Grandma already raised her three daughters; she called me number four.  It took four tries to finally get my name right when she would call me.  Grandma was my comfort when my mom was on a drug binge and could not be found.  She took me in from the streets, fed me, sheltered me and taught me right from wrong.  I found peace in her arms and joy in her sweet kisses.

I was taught the value of work, family, virtue, church, cooking and family recipes. My grandmother took me to school and church and eventually taught me responsibility and independence. All of these things may sound ordinary to the average person, but not to someone like me who lived through so much hardship.  Because of grandma, I am strong and have self worth.

I learned a lot about loving others unconditionally; seeing the positive things in people and in life. This understanding has helped me to turn my opinions and actions around. I received much counsel from her as she would tell me what she would do in certain situations, but she allowed me to make my own decisions and never judged me when I made my choice.

Grandma also taught me how to stand up for what is right and stand up against those who would harm me and others. These lessons have given me the ability to be a good judge of character.  With this knowledge, I am able to help others with their challenges in life. 

Now that I am grown there is not one day that goes by that I don’t think of her.  Grandma, you have served me my whole life. Your advanced stage of Alzheimer Disease has blessed me with the opportunity to give service to you in your time of need. You cannot speak to me or wrap your arms around me anymore, but your spirit is strong and sweet and ever-so-much an influence in my life.  I want you to know that you are a precious gift from God! You bring out in me the tender emotions and compassion allowing me to love and understand my own children, something I would struggle with if it were not for the example of motherhood that you have shown me. It’s my turn to feed and clothe you.  It is a blessing to comfort you in my arms and in my sweet kisses bring you joy.

Contributed by  Jessica from California

So Perfect!

Single Parenting

After having lived the last thirty years as a single parent I have come to realize that the joys and pains aren’t any different for a single mother than a mother in a home with both parents.  The joys that are brought into our lives by our children are not determined by our marital status nor are the pains unique to us as a single parent.  

I do know from my personal experience, however, that there are numerous differences in the challenges, resources and energy for the single parent.  The fact that you must face the daily demands and problems all alone often times becomes overwhelming.  

When my kids were young my saving grace was having many good friends.  They listened with interest and shared ideas and offered love and encouragement when times were hard.  Sometime they took my kids for an afternoon so I could just have time for myself.  The lesson I am so grateful to have learned is we can choose the path we want to travel.  It can be hard or it can be harder.

I will share one of the hardest times and one of the most joyful times in the following story.  It was December and my kids were teenagers.  We had very little income and my time at home was limited.    I had shared with the kids that Christmas would be light and we would each be getting only one gift.  We would not get a tree until Christmas Eve so there would not be decorations all around until the day before Christmas.  We would find a tree on the lot when everyone had closed down and the remaining trees were free.

I had to work on Christmas day, which seemed rather discouraging but we would make the best of the holiday.  As  the week of Christmas came closer, my daughter called and asked if her roommate could come to our house on Christmas as she could not go home to her family.  I was a little embarrassed because we would not be having a fancy family dinner and I had no money to buy her friend a gift, but coming to our house was much better than sitting alone in an empty dorm room while everyone else went home.  

The boys and I picked the girls up from their dorm at 11:30 p.m. on Christmas Eve.  Singing and laughing for an hour as we drove home, all the while watching out the window for a tree lot.  It was freezing cold and the roads were covered with ice.   Finding an abandoned lot we exited the car and searched the deserted trees to find the perfect one.   The kids found this all quite amusing while I found it pretty darn creative.   After ten minutes we tied the tree to the top of the VW bus and away we went.

We decorated, sang and laughed as we shared popcorn and hot chocolate until the wee hours of the morning.   The pain of being poor and challenged was lifted from my shoulders as I watched the kids share with each other the joys of the season and being together.

Now thirty years later, each of the kids talk about stealing that Christmas tree and all the fun we had together.  They do not remember the pain and difficulties we experienced.  They remember the joy that was found through love and laughter and snuggling in front of the living room fireplace.   Joys and pains of being a single parent are many.  But the lessons we learn far outweigh the struggles and pain we encountered along the way. 

Contributed by Lauraine from California