What Does It Mean To Be A Mother?

What does it mean to be a mother?  Over the past 14 years I've been blessed to be the mother to six of the most amazing kids in the world. 

We've had a great time together celebrating the normal, every day things of life; blowing bubbles, peanut butter sandwiches for lunch, homework, afternoons at the park, driving carpools here and there and everywhere. In many ways it was just how I had imagined it.

But a couple of years ago a new normal seemed to enter my life without warning. It seemed no matter where we went or what we did always ended up in the hospital. 

Gymnastics injuries, triathlon broken back and ribs, jump-roping broken hips, orthopedic surgeries, body casts, wheelchairs, hospital beds at home, numerous x-rays and MRIs.  You name it; we did it. And just when we thought the medical storms in our life had passed, I gave birth to a sweet and perfect baby girl with 3 heart defects. 

Nothing can prepare a mother for the words "your baby needs open heart surgery."  I sat in stunned silence staring blankly at the doctors as I processed this shocking news.  How could this be?

In the weeks and months that followed I learned a very different side of mothering that was new to me. I was rarely home at all and there was hardly time for the park or play dates or the other normal things of life.  I was in survival mode.

This is what I learned.  Sometimes being a mother means being brave even when you're not.  Sometimes it means taking your child to the doctor every single day.  It means being up night after night and getting up day after day even when you're so exhausted.  It means making it through one more day.  It means smiling even when you want to cry.  

These past few years of storms have been a blessing to me.  Sometimes in all the chaos I could see clearly what really mattered in life.  All the extra worries in my life just seemed to melt away as I focused on the important needs of my family.

As I walked out of the hospital in February I sat out front waiting for my husband to bring the car around.  We were so grateful to be taking our little miracle home who had endured so much in her short ten months.  As I sat there thinking of all that we had been through, I met a mom named Tracy.  She introduced me to beautiful baby girl named Skyler.  "What are you here for?" she asked me.  I responded that Claire had just had open-heart surgery a few days before. She was so sweet asking me questions about how we knew, her symptoms, and when we found out.  As my husband’s car pulled into view we started loading up our precious baby and hospital bags. I turned to her to say goodbye and wished her luck with her baby and asked what was she at Children's Hospital for. I learned that her sweet and perfect baby had cancer.

In that moment I realized that everyone has something they are dealing with.  Everyone.  Most of us are so aware of our own struggles that we don't see others' difficulties very clearly. But Ian MacLaren noted wisely, “Let us be kind to one another, for most of us are fighting a hard battle.”

Because that's what we do as mothers.

Contributed by Darcy from California